There are many lenses to which you can use to have broader understanding. Have you tried on the lens of “Locus of Control” lately?
If you want to take full ownership of your life and your decisions, be weary of attaching yourself to narratives that lead you toward an external locus of control. Even if aspects of a chosen set of circumstances are true, your life is more powerfully navigated when you relate to your internal locus of control. Are you in touch with your own sensibility? What is it telling you?
Interviewers, coaches and counselors ask questions to elicit locus of control. When it comes to locus of control, you can look at it like this: “Do I control what happens to me or am I controlled by external factors?” That’s one way to get a baseline for a default perspective of our individual agency in the world. Some people have more of an internal locus of control and some people lean toward having an external locus of control.
This can be an underlying reason why someone may appear to have a problem with a narrative that points them in a direction which encourages an external locus of control. One’s default setting regarding locus of control provides a strong contextual leaning. This may influence someone’s decision making despite information given regarding the content of the concern.
One’s bearing for locus of control is determined by a multitude of factors occurring since birth. From cognitive functioning to belief systems to learned behaviors, it’s nearly impossible to ‘untangle’ all the threads that go into this aspect of one’s disposition. This is not a static measurement either; degrees can vary depending on the components of the situation. Although a person tends to lean in one direction or the other as a default perspective on where they place themselves with a locus of control.
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When you have a complex concern or decision to make, the influence of locus of control comes into play. You can check in with yourself; look the mechanics of how you go about making the decision. Sure, get as much resourceful, accurate information as possible. Also ask yourself what preexisting, imbedded, intrinsic influences drive your decision-making process. Are you making the decision from your own ingrained sensibility?
An explorative exercise in understanding your locus of control can look something like this. Answer these questions:
“Do I feel that I have control over my life?"
Or “Do I feel that life controls me?”
If you believe the later, then you’ll feel you have little influence on what’s happening around you. If you believe the former, then you’ll feel you have more autonomy and stronger personal agency.
Those who have deliberately worked over time to improve their personal agency, may find it more challenging when facing directives that appear to impede their autonomy. In other works, those who are regularly attuned to their internal locus of control as their guiding authority, are less likely to see external authority.
Those who are have increasingly been led by an external locus of control may find it easier to take outside directives. They may find little to no conflict when having to incorporate external choices into their decision making. As a downside, they may face challenges with making decisions independently.
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Tactics to shift toward a more internal locus of control include further introspection and reflection. Do you take responsibility for your actions? Do you have self-awareness and social awareness regarding the consequences that occur from the actions taken?
This may be easier in some areas of life than others. Perhaps you feel like you can take responsibility for your dietary intake, but you feel less responsibility for your level of engagement in fitness activities. Or vice versa. There may be reasons why you feel one of these categories is more outside your locus of control than the other.
Another tactic is to be clear and aware of your time management skills. Are your decisions infringing on other’s time or putting them out in some way? How are your decisions influences boundaries with other? Do you see adverse or positive effects in your relationships?
Any type of maintenance of introspection will bring your back around to what is - and what isn’t - within your realm of control. Are you clear about what you can control? Are you able to accept what you can’t control? The answers to these questions are extremely important. If you put too much of your focus and energy toward things you have little to no control over, you’re likely taken that time and energy away from things that you can control.